How To Date A TransGendered / Transsexual Woman!|
Are you seeking to date a Pre-Op Or Post-Op Transgendered Woman ?
Not all girls are born
female. There is a special class of woman out there, with a different set of
attributes than the "genetic girl," or GG. It's the transsexual
woman, or "TS." A woman who used to be a male. "Pre-Op"
refers to the fact that she has not had sexual reassignment surgery (SRS),
the sex-change surgery.
"pre-op transsexual" is a woman in the wrong body, one who has
breasts (through taking female hormones and/or breast implants), and
“Original Male Plumbing”. A TS is almost always living full time
as a woman. A "non-op transsexual" means that the TS will not have
SRS. Usually that is also the case with a pre-op TS. I will be referring to
both categories of TS as pre-op in this article, since it is a more widely
used expression.These are the topics that will be addressed in this article:
1. Why would a guy want
to date a pre-op TS?
2. Sexual confusion and disorientation.
3. What does a TS look for in a guy?
4. How should a guy approach and treat a TS?
5. How does a TS regard herself?
6. The TS and the gay male community.
7. Sex with a TS.
8. The Transsexual Lesbian.
9. Shemale Escorts
Let's address them one by
1. Why would a guy want
to date a pre-op transsexual?
A lot of guys who show
interest in TS's are, in fact, bisexual. Others are bi-curious. Still others
are looking for cheap thrills. Some men find TS's to be more feminine than
GG's. And then, of course, there are guys who seem to just plain connect
better with a pre-op transsexual than a GG.
For the guys just seeking
a sexual experience, there are plenty of shemale escorts available who will
happily provide an exciting experience for a fee, without any danger of
commitment. Don't know any escorts? Use a search engine, search under
keywords "shemale escorts (enter name of your city or state)" --
odds are you will find what you need.
TS's tell me that most of
the guys who contact them are, in fact, bisexual or bi-curious. They say
these men are often looking for a same-sex experience but packaged in such a
way that they have “deniability”. They seek to deny (to
themselves, probably) that sex with a person who has both tits and a dick is
homosexual in nature.
Some men find today's so-called
independent woman to be not very feminine at all, overly assertive,
argumentative, prone to characterizing a simple male advance as
"harassment," and a general pain in the ass to be around. One guy
told me dating a so-called independent woman "is like dating your
brother." Who among the women of today delight in being extremely (and
classically) feminine? The TS's.
Others find solace with a
pre-op transsexual because she used to be a male and has a far better
understanding of what it means to be male than most GG's ever will. Any guy
who is chronically misunderstood by GG's will be able to appreciate the
viewpoint of the TS.
2. Sexual confusion and
Guys ask me for advice.
"I met this transsexual woman at a club and I am really attracted to her
but I am concerned that it means I am gay or something. Am I?"
Some careful dialogue
with the guy usually uncovers the fact that he was very attracted to the TS's
femininity. Her look, her voice, her movement, her laugh, her smile, her scent,
and all those other feminine cues that trigger interest and a masculine
response from a guy. Gay guys are not attracted to those attributes.
Therefore, if a straight
man finds himself interested in a pre-op transsexual and is experiencing some
confusion as a result, then he needs to consider exactly what it is about her
that is attracting him. If it's her femininity, then he's not responding like
a gay man would, and thus shouldn't worry about whether he's "turning
gay." If the guy can accept that he is attracted to a somewhat different
kind of woman and still wants to pursue it, take it just one step at a time.
Take her out to a dinner
or a movie. Talk to her about whatever, listen to her words. Look into her
eyes. Can he get lost in her eyes, as he can with a GG? Can he relax around
her and just enjoy being with her, as if she were a GG? If so, take one more
step. Hold hands, kiss her good-night. In other words, treat her like he
would any GG date, at a pace that he can handle, given his concerns. Easy!
3. What does a
transsexual woman look for in a guy?
What does any woman look
for in a guy? A straight man, a guy who loves and appreciates women.
This quote came to me
this evening as I was writing this article. A pretty TS said she wants
"a man with class, respect, morals, intelligence, humor and
loyalty." She is having great difficulty finding a man like that.
Why? Because most guys,
she said, "are the same, they are just bi-curious or want their fantasy
to come true." That is why god made "escorts."
What a pre-op transsexual
woman wants in a guy is what most any woman wants in a guy. Surprise,
surprise! If a guy wants to develop a relationship with a TS (think this
through carefully)…how should he approach her?
A TS who hangs out online
gets a million instant messages and emails about sexual encounters. A TS who
has the genuine sensibilities of the female will not respond to sexual
adventure proposals any better than most GG's will.
4. How should a guy
approach and treat a TS?
transsexual is generally defined as a woman in a man's body. The key thing to
bear in mind here is: WOMAN in a man's body. If a guy wants to get past her
suspicions about the nature of his interest in her, don't offer her a
dick. Offer her flowers
and a dinner date. He
needs to express his interest the same way he would with any GG.
What genetic females will
appreciate, so will the TS. Don't treat her like a freak. Chances are
excellent she will resent being treated as a curiosity. She has
endured a lot of pain and derision over gender issues, and has spent a lot of
money trying to correct a mistake by nature. Be understanding and
appreciative of her ordeal. Be a gentleman. Get past the plumbing issues and
think in terms of her femininity. It's not that hard to do and she will greatly
Reading the articles at this website will satisfy your curiosity about what a
TS is, what she needs and how she thinks. Therefore, a man doesn't need to
bring up TS issues on the first date. Instead, he should focus on her,
her life and her interests. He shouldn't treat her any differently than he
would any other woman. She craves to be treated like any other woman,
but she fully expects her date to ask inappropriate sex- and
TS-related questions, because it happens all the time. Surprise and delight
her! Don't even bring the subject up. Let her be the one to bring it
up, if she wants. Doing things this way will likely make a very big
impression. And that could put the guy miles ahead of everyone else vying for
Odds are, she's taking
female hormones. That often results in feminine mood swings. Expect that. The
pre-op TS may still have a dick, but psychologically she's a girl.
5. How does a pre-op
transsexual woman regard herself?
She responds as a woman,
therefore she regards herself as a woman. But being female for her is likely
a whole lot more difficult than it is for the GG. Why? Imagine how men she
meets react when she tells them she is a TS who hasn't had the sex change.
Usually the guy immediately loses interest. He might even react with disgust.
Or worse. This will impact on her sense of self-worth and esteem.
The pre-op TS will often
adopt an image that is clearly, unmistakably feminine as she seeks to define
herself as a woman. Probably she will not care to dress in a way that could
be construed as masculine. A male appearance is in her past. The TS wants to
immerse herself into something warmly and clearly feminine, which accounts
for the clearly feminine clothing and heels. The TS is unlikely to identify
with female Marines, Abrams tank drivers and fighter jet pilots.
Who is attracted to her?
Mostly bi guys and thrill seekers. Finding a man who will accept her as a
woman with a dick is very difficult indeed. But the man who can appreciate
her femaleness, accept and love her is in for a huge benefit. He will
be on the receiving end of a whole lot of attention, affection, and desire to
please. His girl will probably go all out to look very desirable. She will
wear very feminine clothing and shoes. She will work hard to perfect her
makeup. After all, she loves being a girl. And she (finally) has a man who
appreciates her. She is very unlikely to take him for granted. Interestingly
enough, this approach to pleasing a man and adopting a feminine appearance is
rather sadly lacking today among genetic women.
When my friends and I go
off to the movies or a restaurant, we are almost always the only females in
the place in a blouse and skirt, or a dress -- and both the men and women
notice. You can see the envy in the men's eyes. They want their women to
dress in a more feminine manner too, and it isn't happening for them. The
TS's often have a better understanding of what men want, a better grip on how
to be female.
6. The TS and the gay
Often they are at odds.
Gay men respond to masculinity, not femininity. A TS is very likely looking
for a straight man, for it is a man who will make her feel like the woman she
is, which is something to which most any GG can attest. Gay men will
generally not find a TS of interest. There is often friction between the
transgendered and gay communities. Some gay men accuse transgendered women as
being unable to decide what they want. Although transgendered and gay
communities ally themselves for political purposes, they otherwise have
little in common.
7. Sex with a pre-op TS.
For those men who find themselves attracted to a pre-op TS
but wary of the prospect of sex, here's a solution. Assuming that guy has
read the earlier remarks in Section 2, then the solution is to think of
having sex with a TS as just a plumbing issue. Forget about her penis. The
guy has a girlfriend with a simple plumbing issue. There's no pussy, so get
over it. What are the options? I'm sure any guy thinking of sex with a pre-op
transsexual woman has quickly inventoried all the places he can stick his
A TS on hormones may not have a functional penis. And a TS with the
sensibilities of a genetic woman is very unlikely to want to have anal or
oral sex anyway, so a straight guy need not be concerned about it.
Time for the orifice
inventory. Will a TS want to have oral sex or anal sex? It's very likely she
will. Can she cum? Many do cum from anal sex. TS's on hormones tend to cum
repeatedly, much as GG's can, but without the usual male-type ejaculation.
Anal sex need not be
messy. An experienced TS will know how to make it a great experience.
Lubrication is a necessity. Keep some handy.
What is the essence of
femininity? Females are nurturers and pleasers by nature. They are warm,
loving beings who love to please. Sex tends to be tied up with romantic love.
Women love to be "taken" by a masculine man, since it is the act of
erotic surrender that centers them, that makes them feel like "a real
woman." Therefore, hardly any TS with the sensibilities of a woman will
be looking to "top" a guy or will be looking for a guy who wants to
him to perform oral sex on her.
Foreplay? Remember, treat
her like a woman. She is going to respond the same way.
8. The Transsexual Lesbian
there are GG lesbians so therefore there are TS lesbians! The TS lesbian truly enjoys the
companionship, acceptance and appreciation of the male admirer, however, her
sexual orientation is strictly feminine!
There is a large percentage of Transsexuals who are married or
sexually involved with GG’s. The
TS lesbian will normally be completely honest about her sexual orientation,
so please, respect her for her honesty and sexual desires!
9. Shemale escorts.
"shemale" came out of the porn business, and it refers to a person
with breasts and a dick.
I keep using the
expression, "a TS with the sensibilities of a GG..." for a reason,
to distinguish the TS who wants to be treated as a woman, who fully
identifies with being a woman, from those who cater to the submissive male
crowd, the bi-male crowd and the thrill-seeking crowd for money.
The genuine TS -- one
with the sensibilities of a GG -- won't likely be promoting herself as a
shemale any more than a GG seeking a real relationship will be promoting
herself as an "escort." That means, one who advertises herself as a
shemale or shemale escort likely has a viewpoint not very compatible with
developing a sound relationship. Act accordingly.
A man needs to clarify
his interests and goals. If he's just looking for a blowjob from a TS, or
wants to suck some TS dick, cool. Pay an escort for some fun. If he wants to
get something real going, then forget about the escorts. Why forget about
them? Those girls get lied to every hour of every day and have heard it all.
They aren't likely to believe that the average Joe asking for a simple date
is serious. For most, the gateway to getting to know them is to first become
That's it. Good luck. Feedback is appreciated.
CHECK OUT THE FOLLOWING LINKS!
The Dictionary Definition Of Transgendered!
Terms And Explanations Of Transgendered, Transsexual, Transvestite, Crossdressing And Other Lifestyles